Mr N
by Whimsical Winter
Summary: What if Gravity Falls was narrated and what if the narrator was a character.


**This is my first "published fanfic/story/chapter." If you see any grammatical mistakes plz let me know :).**

Mr. N

"Ah, summer break"

A time for leisure, recreation, and takin' 'er easy Unless you're this boy here named Dipper.

"Aaaah! It's getting closer!" Shouted Dipper.

The girl about to puke is his sister Mabel.

You may be wondering what they're doing in a golf cart fleeing from a creature of unimaginable horror.

"Aah! Aaah! - Look out! Aahh!" screamed Dipper. Rest assured, there's a perfectly logical explanation.

Let's rewind.

It all began when their parents decided they could use some fresh air.

They shipped them up north to a sleepy town called Gravity Falls, Oregon, to stay at their great-uncle's place in the woods.

"This attic is amazing! Check out all my splinters!" Said Mabel. Baaa! "And there's a goat on my bed." Said Dipper.

"Hey, friend."

"Oh!" "Yes, you can keep chewing on my sweater." Said Mabel.

Mabel tended to look on the bright side of things. Such as grass.

"Yay!" "Grass!" Said Mabel as she rolled down a hill. Dipper was having a hard time getting used to his new surroundings.

\- Boo! - Aaaah! Aha ha ha ha! And then was their great-uncle Stan. Aha ha ha ha It was worth it. coughed the gross old man.

Their uncle had transformed his house into a tourist trap he called the Mystery Shack.

 _The real mystery was why anyone came_.

"Ladies and gentlemen." Said Stan as he showed the tourists around. And guess who had to work there. The twins of course. _He is making them work for him on their vacation! Well that is a bad uncle if you ask me._

"Oh!" "No touching the merchandise!" Yelled Stan. It looked like it was gonna be the same boring routine all summer, until one fateful day. He's looking at it.

He's looking at it! Uh "Do you like me? "Yes.

Definitely.

Absolutely"? I rigged it! Said Mabel _She is crazy don't you think?_ Did you hear something? Questioned Mabel. No, I know you're going through your whole "boy crazy" phase, but I think you're kind of overdoing it with the "crazy" part. Said Dipper. _He agrees i see._

What?! Come on, Dipper! This is our first summer away from home.

It's my big chance to have an epic summer romance. Said Mabel

Yeah, but do you need to flirt with every guy you meet? Questioned Dipper. FLASHBACKS- My name is Mabel, but you can call me the girl of your dreams.

I'm joking! Ha ha ha ha! Oh, my gosh, you like turtles? I like turtles too.

What is happening here? Come one, come all, to the mattress prince's kingdom of savings! - Take me with you. FLASHBACKS END- _Wonder how many other boys she will scare away._

Aaah! Mock all you want, brother, but I got a good feeling about this summer.

I wouldn't be surprised if the man of my dreams walked through that door right now. Said Mabel

At that moment Stan came into the room with a belch.

Eww! Said mabel with disgust on her face.

 _Ha ha ha! ummhmm(clears throat) Sorry I couldn't help myself._ "I heard it again where is that voice coming from." Said Mabel All right, look alive, people.

"I need someone to go hammer up these signs in the spooky part of the forest." Said Stan.

"Not it!" Said the employees. Uh, also not it.

Nobody asked you, Soos. Said Stan.

I know, and I'm comfortable with that. Replied Soos.

Wendy! I need you to put up this sign! Said the uncle. I would, but I uhh can't uhh reach it.

I'd fire all of you if I could. Said Stan. _Wonder if he even pays them minimum wage._

All right, let's make it eeny-meeny-miney You. Said Stan while pointing at Dipper.

"Oh! What? Grunkle Stan, whenever I'm in those woods I feel like I'm being watched." Said Dipper. _Probably the birds._

"Ahh, this again." Sighed Stan.

"I'm telling you, Something weird is going on in this town."

"Just today my mosquito bites spelled out beware." Said Dipper.

" That says bewarb".

" Look, kid, the whole monsters in the forest thing is just local legend drummed up by guys like me to sell merch to guys like that."

So quit being so paranoid! Said Stan. "Ugh.

Grunkle Stan."

"Nobody ever believes anything I say." Said Dipper. Out in the woods Dipper was hitting nails in the tree when all the sudden.

Huh? Baaa! What the? He had found a metal panel that was part of a metal tree. He found a journal within the panel and began to read. "It's hard to believe it's been six years since I began studying the strange and wondrous secrets of Gravity Falls, Oregon. _How odd. This is a turn in events._

"Unfortunately, my suspicions have been confirmed."

"I'm being watched." Said Dipper. He read further.

"I must hide this book before he finds it.

Remember, in Gravity Falls, there is no one you can trust.

No one you can trust." "Hello!" squilled Mabel from behind Dipper. "Aaah!" Said Dipper. Whatcha readin'? Some nerd thing? Questioned Mabel. "Uh uh it's nothing." said Dipper nervously.

"Uh-uh it's nothing." mocked Mabel.

" What? Are you actually not gonna show me?" Said mabel. "Uh Let's go somewhere private."

"It's amazing!" "Grunkle Stan said I was being paranoid, but according to this book, Gravity Falls has this secret dark side."

"Whoa! Shut up!" said Mabel as she punched Dipper's shoulder. "After a certain point, the pages just stop, like the guy who was writing it mysteriously disappeared." said Dipper.

There was a knock on the door. "Who's that?" asked Dipper. _Hopefully it is their parents taking them away from here._ "Well, time to spill the beans."

"Boop."

"Beans."

"This girl's got a date." said Mabel.

"Whoo whoo! Ha ha ha! Let me get this straight.

In the half hour I was gone you already found a boyfriend?" asked Dipper. "What can I say?" "I guess I'm just irresistible!" said Mabel as she flailed her arms. "What you readin' there, slick?" asked Stan as he entered the room. "Oh!" "I was just catchin' up on, uh" "Gold chains for old men magazine?" said Dipper nervously. "That's a good issue." said Stan. _That must be the most boring thing to read. Thank goodness Dipper wasn't actually reading that._

"Hey, family!" "Say hello to my new boyfriend!" said Mabel. "Hey

"How's it hangin?" asked Stan.

"We met at the cemetery."

"He's really deep."

"Ooh! Little muscle there." said Mabel as she felt his arm. _He looks like he came out of a dumpster or maybe a grave. if i was you i would dump him. "_ I'm hearing the voice again" said Mabel as she looked around.

"So what's your name?" asked Dipper. "Uh Normal Man!" _normal for a druggy._ "He means Norman." _sure he does._

" Are you bleeding, Norman?" asked Dipper. "It's jam." said Norman nervously.

"Oh! I love jam!" "Look at this!" "So, you wanna go hold hands or whatever?" "Oh!" "Oh, my goodness."

"Don't wait up!" said Mabel giddily. _Don't let her out of your sight! He is probably in a gang or something of that sort._ "There is something about Norman that wasn't right."

Dipper decided to consult the journal "Known for their pale skin and bad attitudes, these creatures are often mistaken for Teenagers?!" yipped Dipper as he finished reading. "Beware Gravity Falls's Zombie!" "Did somebody say cromby?" "What is that, crombys not even a word."

"You're losin' your mind." Said Grunkle stan as he tried to figure out what cromby meant.

Oh, no! Mabel! No! No, Mabel! Watch out! Uhh! Aaaah! Uhh. Screamed Dipper as he realized that mabel was going into a forest with a zombie. "Daisies?" "You scallywag!" Blushed mabel. "Is my sister really dating a zombie, or am I just going nuts?" Said Dipper confusedly. "It's a dilemma, to be sure."

"I couldn't help but overhear you talking aloud to yourself in this empty room." said Soos has he screwed in a light bulb. _Where did he come from! I think i'm going to like this guy._

"Soos, you've seen Mabel's boyfriend."

"He's gotta be a zombie, right?" Asked Dipper. "Hmm.

How many brains did you see the guy eat?" Replied Soos. "Zero." sighed Dipper. "Look, dude, I believe you."

"I'm always noticing weird stuff in this town."

"Like the mailman?" "Pretty sure that dude's a werewolf." _Maybe a werebear but not a werewolf._

"But you gotta have evidence."

"Otherwise people are gonna think you're a major league cuckoo clock." said Soos.

"As always, Soos, you're right." replied Dipper

"My wisdom is both a blessing and a curse." said soos. _Probably has superpowers!_

"Soos! The portable toilets are clogged again!" Yelled Stan from downstairs. "I am needed elsewhere." said Soos as he walked backwards out the door.

"My sister could be in trouble."

"It was time to get some evidence."

Dipper got his recorder and started recording Mabel and Normal Man Norman as they played frisbee also as norman fell into a grave and breaking the window to get into the cafe. _Does Norman feel pain? "_ I'd seen enough."

"Mabel, we've gotta talk about Norman." said Dipper once they both got home.

"Isn't he the best?" asked Mabel. _She will date anyone i bet_. "Check out this giant smooch mark he gave me!" Aaah! Ha ha! Gullible.

"It was just an accident with the leaf blower." Said Mabel.

"No! Mabel, listen."

"I'm trying to tell you that Norman is not what he seems!" said Dipper. "You think he might be a vampire?" "That would be so awesome!" Squilled Mabel. "Guess again, sister."

"Sha-bam!" said Dipper as he showed Mabel a picture of a gnome. "Aaah!" screamed Mabel. "Oh, wait."

"I'm I'm sorry."

"Sha-bam!" said Dipper as he showed her a picture of a zombie. "A zombie?" "That is not funny, Dipper." Said Mabel sternly.

"I'm not joking! It all adds up: the bleeding, the limp He never blinks!" "Have you noticed that?" asked Dipper. "Maybe he's blinking when you're blinking." said Mabel positively. _How convenient would that be._ "Mabel, remember what the book said about Gravity Falls?" "Trust no one!" said Dipper. "What about me, huh?" "Why can't you trust me?" asked Mabel. "Mabel! He's gonna eat your brain!" said dipper loudly. "Dipper, listen to me."

"Norman and I are going on a date at five o'clock, and I'm gonna be adorable, and he's gonna be dreamy." said Mabel as she poked Dipper.

"Wait! But but but" stuttered Dipper. "And I'm not gonna let you ruin it with one of your crazy conspiracies!" Yelled Mabel. _She will have trouble soon. I can guarantee that._ And where is that voice coming from yelled Mabel. "Ohh.

What am I gonna do?" said Dipper confusedly. "Hey, Norman.

How do I look?" asked Mabel. "Shiny!" replied Norman. _Hmm he might be a human crow._ "You always know what to say!" said Mabel as she blushed. "Soos is right.

I don't have any real evidence."

"I guess I can be kind of paranoid sometimes, and wait!" "What?!" said Dipper has he watched what he had recorded. "Aaah! I was right!" "Oh, my God! Oh, my God!" Yelled Dipper as he saw norman's hand fall off. _Maybe Dipper should lend a hand._ "Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Stan!" Yelled Dipper has he tried to get Stan's attention. "And here we have a rock that looks like a face" said Stan to the tourists. "a rock?" Asked one of the tourists. "No a rock that looks like a face." replied Stan.

"Does it look like a rock?" asked another tourist. "No, it looks like a face." replied Stan.

"Is it a face?" asked a tourist. "It's a rock that looks like a face!" yelled Stan. "Over here! Grunkle Stan!" yelled Dipper has he tried to get Stan to answer him. "For the fifth time, it's not an actual face!" Yelled Stan to the tourists. _These people are so dumb._ "Wendy! Wendy! I need to borrow the golf cart so I can save my sister from a zombie!" Yelled Dipper. "Try not to hit any pedestrians." replied Wendy. _What kind of answer is that!_

"Dude, it's me, Soos."

"This is for the zombies And this is in case you see

A pinata." said Soos as he handed Dipper a shovel then a bat.

"Uh Thanks?" said Dipper confusedly. "Better safe than sorry!" replied Soos. "Mable, now that we've gotten to know each other, there's There's something I should tell you." _oh dear what is it!_

"Oh, Norman! You can tell me anything! Said Mabel." "Please be a vampire, please be a vampire." thought Mabel.

"All right, just just don't freak out, okay?" "Just just keep an open mind.

Be cool." siad Norman. Norman zipped down his jacket. It fell down to the ground. Leaving what was left 5 gnomes.

"Is this weird? Is this too weird?" "You need to sit down?" "R-right.

I'll explain." said a gnome. _I don't even know how to respond to this!_

"So, we're gnomes, first off, get that one out of the way."

"Uh I'm Jeff, and here we have Carson, Steve, Jason and I'm sorry, I always forget your name. Said Jeff.

"Shmebulock." said a funny looking gnome.

"Shmebulock."

"Yes! Anyways, long story short, us gnomes have been lookin' for a new queen."

"Right, guys?" said Jeff. "Queen! Queen! Heh!" said the gnomes. "So whaddya say?" "Will you join us in holy matri-gnome-y?" "Matri matri mony? Bleahh!" "Can't talk today." sputtered Jeff. _ok. These gnomes are quite creepy._

"Look I'm sorry, guys, you're really sweet, but I'm a girl and you're gnomes and it's like, what?!" "Yikes." said Mabel as she tried to wrap her head around this.

"We understand."

"We'll never forget you, Mabel."

"Because we're gonna kidnap you." said Jeff as he and the other gnomes jumped at Mabel.

"Huh?!" screeched Mabel. " Don't worry, Mabel!" "I'll save you from that zombie!" Yelled Dipper hoping Mabel heard him. _He is in for one heck of a surprise_ "Help!' Screamed Mabel. "Hold on!" replied Dipper. "The more you struggle, the more awkward this is gonna be for everybody."

"Just ha ha! Okay, just get her arm there, Steve." said Jeff as the gnomes tried tying Mabel up.

"Aah! Let go of me!" Yelled Mabel. "Uhh what the heck is goin' on here?!" Yelled Dipper with great confusion. "Aah! Dipper!" "Norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes!" "And they're total jerks!" yelled Mabel to Dipper. "Gnomes? Huh.

I was way off." said Dipper. Dipper looked into the journal he had found.

"Gnomes.

Little men of the Gravity Falls forest.

"Weaknesses:" unknown.

"Oh, come on! Hey! Hey! Let go of my sister!" Yelled Dipper while he went over to set her free. "Oh! Ha ha.

Hey there!" "Um, ya know, this is all really just a big misunderstanding, ya see?" "Your sister's not in danger She's just marrying all one thousand of us and become our gnome queen for all eternity." said Jeff. _Gah! That is a little more than creepy._

"Isn't that right, honey?" said Jeff. "You guys are butt-faces!" yelled Mabel. "Give her back right now, or else!" yelled Dipper. "You think you can stop us, boy?" "You have no idea what we're capable of."

"The gnomes are a powerful race!" "Do not trifle with the Aaaah!" said Jeff as Dipper tossed him with a shovel. "He's getting away with our queen!" "You've messed with the wrong creatures, boy."

"Gnomes of the forest Assemble!" yelled Jeff. "Hurry! Before they come after us!" yelled Mabel. "I wouldn't worry about it."

"You see their little legs?" Said Dipper. "All right, teamwork, guys! Like we practiced."

" Come back with our queen!" Yelled Jeff. "It's getting closer!" Said Mabel as the gnomes came closer. The gnomes came close enough that they got onto the cart and began to attack. "Eh! Yahh! Brahh!" "I'll save you, Dipper!" Said Mabel as she punched a gnome on Dipper's face. Uh! Ow! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! "Thanks, Mabel." Said Dipper.

"Don't mention it." Replied Mabel.

They got the gnomes off the cart long enough to get back to the mystery shack. "Where's Grunkle Stan?" Asked Dipper. "Behold! The world's most distracting object!" Oooh! "Just try to look away you can't!" "I can't even remember what I was talkin' about." Said Stan as he tried to remember what he said.

"It's the end of the line, kids."

"Mabel, marry us before we do something crazy!" Said Jeff. "There's gotta be a way out of this! Said Dipper. "I gotta do it." said Mabel

"What?! Mabel, don't do this! Are you crazy?" questioned Dipper. "Trust me." said Mabel as she winked at Dipper.

"What?!" Dipper said confusedly. "Dipper, just this once Trust me."

"All right, Jeff, I'll marry you." said Mabel.

"Hot dog! Help me down there, Jason."

"Thanks."

"Andy, left foot, there we go, watch those fingers, Mike."

"Now let's get you back into the forest, honey!" said Jeff proudly. "You may now kiss the bride." said Mabel as she puckered her lips.

"Well, uh, don't mind if I do." said Jeff

Mabel got out a leaf blower from behind a bush and began to use it on the gnomes. "This is for lying to me!" "That's for breaking my heart!" said Mabel "Ow! My face!" said Jeff. "And this is for messing with my brother!" "Wanna do the honors?" asked Mabel. "On three.

One, two, three!" said the twins as they shot Jeff into the forest. "I'll Get you back for this!" said Jeff as he flew to the trees. "Anyone else wants some?" asked Dipper as the rest of the gnomes ran off. "Hey, Dipper.

I, um, I'm sorry for ignoring your advice."

"You really were just looking out for me." said Mabel.

"Oh, don't be like that.

You saved our butts back there." said Dipper.

"I guess I'm just sad that my first boyfriend turned out to be a bunch of gnomes." said Mabel. _I would be to._

"Look on the bright side Maybe the next one will be a vampire." said Dipper. _Oh good heavens no. why would you even think that._

Awkward sibling hug? Awkward sibling hug.

Pat pat.

Pat pat.

"Sheesh! You two get hit by a bus or somethin'?" said Wendy as the twins walked past. "W-wouldn't you know it?" "Um, I accidentally overstocked some inventory, so how's about each of you take one item from the gift shop on the house?" said Stan as the twins came inside the mystery shack. "Really? What's the catch?" asked Dipper. "The catch is do it before I change my mind." said their great uncle Stan.

"And I will have a Grappling hook!" "Yes!" said Mabel as she got a grappling hook out of a box and shot it. "Wouldn't you rather have a doll or something?" asked Stan. "Grappling hook!" said Mabel loudly. "Fair enough." said Stan. _Hmm maybe he does have a gentle heart._

"This journal told me there was no one in Gravity Falls "I could trust."

"But when you battle a hundred gnomes side-by-side with someone, you realize that they've probably always got your back." said Dipper.

"Our uncle told us there was nothing strange about this town.

But who knows what other secrets are waiting to be unlocked?" Said Dipper.

 _Grunkle Stan_ came into the gift shop and pressed in a code to the "out of order" vending machine. Stan looked around to see if anyone was near. He went though the secret door and slowly closed it back. _What a creepy suspicious old man._ "Who is talking and what is he talking about" asked Mabel as she went down stairs as the vending machine finished closing. Mabel looked around in the gift shop and convinced herself that the vending machine was alive. She had not found where my voice was coming from and decided to go back upstairs to her bed. "Where did you go" asked Dipper. I went down stairs to the vending machine. It's alive. Said Mabel as she got under the sheets. What!? Yelled Dipper.


End file.
